In 2009 I moved from my home country of Georgia to the UK. I left behind my marriage, my career and everyone I had ever known. With £300 and almost no English I set out on a path of self-discovery to seek out what my life’s purpose was.
For two years I searched relentlessly. I explored countless possibilities of what to do. I would get excited about an idea but it seemed that as soon as I started researching how to pursue it my excitement would disappear. Nothing would stick. I had sleepless nights and days full of doubt. I feared that I was chasing a dream that didn’t exist. There seemed to be no end in sight.
Then something happened that was to change everything. One evening I was walking home from work when it felt to me as if someone had suddenly poured ice-cold water over my head. I froze in place. As I stood there I heard a voice say to me, loud and clear: “You are going to be a writer.” It was the most surreal experience I had ever had and even though I couldn’t explain it, I went home, picked up a pen and began to write. Words were pouring out of me. I was enjoying it very much but nevertheless I found that, over the succeeding days, weeks and months, I was struggling to take my writing seriously. I was convinced that it could only be my hobby and I still had to figure out what the real “work” was that I was meant to do. And then, something caught my eye. It was a year-long business program led by a charismatic young man. He claimed that he was on a mission to create a hundred millionaires in a year. I knew I had potential waiting to be unlocked and I thought this was my chance – so I joined.
I had an idea and I wanted to learn how to turn it into a profitable business. But in the beginning, instead of sharing my own idea, all I did was support others on the course by means of writing inspirational Facebook posts. I was soon invited to become a part of the team and was promised to be officially employed by the organisation. I was thrilled! I thought I had found what I was looking for: the work that would allow me to combine my love for writing, serving others and being part of a mission larger than myself. I abandoned the idea that I had had initially. I stopped searching for my unique path. Instead I was waiting to be told what to do. I hoped I would be given all the right answers by someone whom I believed knew more than me. So I put everything I had into serving him and his ideas, hoping that I would finally be rewarded.
As time passed by I started to have doubts about what was constantly being preached to us: that we would never have any success unless we were prepared to work incredibly hard, and even give up sleep. That finding what we were truly passionate about didn’t matter. Instead, we had to become passionate about making money. But one thing that bothered me more than anything else was the idea that in order to attract clients we had to lie and present ourselves in a way that was artificial and dishonest. Then I asked the leader of the organisation a simple question: Do you believe one can build a business by being authentic? Listening to the answer I knew I was in the wrong place and when I expressed my concerns, I was thrown out of the group. People who I thought were my friends, my family and my readers disappeared almost in an instant. Everything I had worked so hard for was gone. I was crushed. I lost my voice and shut down. I felt repelled by the idea of ever writing again. I ended up in bed for about six months, deeply depressed and with no self-confidence, more confused and lost than I had ever been. It took me about three years to recover. As I regained some strength, my passion for writing came back to me. I knew this time I had to honor the wisdom of MY CALLING and discover what it was that I needed to know.
In 2014 I left my job and went back to my country for three months. I travelled alone and spent most of the time in silence. I wrote every day. I visited my childhood places, read my childhood books, and relived some of the experiences I most loved as a little girl. It was a journey of soul searching. I kept asking myself what it was that I most deeply desired to experience, to express, and to create? What kind of reality did I really want to be part of? As the answers slowly started to emerge one thing became clear: I needed to return: to my heart, to my own wisdom. I needed to trust in the value of my calling, to have faith that I was supported on my journey and to be willing to be bold and to take action.
After returning from my trip, and following my inner guidance, I brought a group of women together in 2015 and took them on a journey of rediscovering creativity. What began as an experiment turned into my life’s work – helping brilliant women unleash the gifted self within!
Today writing is the cornerstone of my work and the truth of who I am is the foundation of everything I create.
My life has taught me that the possibilities we feel inside of us are real. We are the bearers of a precious gift that is the reason why we are here. No one can tell us what that gift is. It is ours to discover and bring forward. That is the only path I know worth taking. The path of a daring woman.
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